The Prince Has Come!
Seriously, who gives a shit? Wow, nine months ago, a balding, big toothed, weirdo emptied some protein into a hot chick who wears goofy hats. If you are going to pay attention to this drool, at minimum be interested in celebrities that have some relevance in your life. Even though it’s all a train wreck, at least with Kim and Kanye’s baby you have listened to his songs or saw Ray J fill Kim like a gas tank. Was it Kim or Paris that started the whole “I’ll become famous via sextape” scenario? Either way, do yourself a favor and revisit both vids, the richy bitch whining is the quintessential definition of erotic. But back to the newborn prince, is it super weird to anyone else that major world powers still have royalty? How archaic and ass backwards can you get? This isn’t the Middle Ages and the fact that people don’t completely laugh in the face of something so retarded is mind boggling. The amount of inbred blood that is flowing through that kids veins must be astounding. Regarding him, with his contaminated gene pool, as a superior human in any way, is like making the tea cup poodle the archetype for “dog”. But still, dumbasses will send teddy bears and flowers to the mother congratulating her on something hundreds of thousands of women do everyday. Can we agree that is the creepiest thing ever? The mindset to go out and spend money on gifts for someone who doesn’t know and doesn't care that you exist is beyond crazy.
The new prince can have the inherited castles, undeserved fame and illegitimate reverence. I’ll take a life based on merit, no matter how shitty. The only way for me not to hate on this kid is if he does one of two things: one, if as a young adult he denounces his throne and makes clear to the people how silly the concept of royalty is. Or two, his life becomes essentially a scene for scene remake of the film “King Ralph”. He needs to be 300lbs, fall in love with a chubby exotic dancer, and then be betrayed by his butler. I want him wearing the crown in the bathtub, being disgusted by “spotted dick”, and impressing King Mubalon of Zambezi via a spear throwing contest. How the hell did “King Ralph” only get 20% on Rotten Tomatoes?! The dinner conversation about fox hunting alone is worth 75%, and when he hits the shit out of ball while playing cricket, pushing it fair, and then “trots the bases”, has to bump it up to at least 90.
There is a slight chance he’ll be an OK guy. My hope is that uncle Harry at least teaches him to live a life based around slaying chicks and not worrying about building notoriety. But my money's on him ending up a douchey, entitled prick. So, all I can do is hope that SIDS takes over early so Sir Elton can release his next platinum single, “Birthday Candle in the Wind”, you know, because those candles are smaller.
Seriously, who gives a shit? Wow, nine months ago, a balding, big toothed, weirdo emptied some protein into a hot chick who wears goofy hats. If you are going to pay attention to this drool, at minimum be interested in celebrities that have some relevance in your life. Even though it’s all a train wreck, at least with Kim and Kanye’s baby you have listened to his songs or saw Ray J fill Kim like a gas tank. Was it Kim or Paris that started the whole “I’ll become famous via sextape” scenario? Either way, do yourself a favor and revisit both vids, the richy bitch whining is the quintessential definition of erotic. But back to the newborn prince, is it super weird to anyone else that major world powers still have royalty? How archaic and ass backwards can you get? This isn’t the Middle Ages and the fact that people don’t completely laugh in the face of something so retarded is mind boggling. The amount of inbred blood that is flowing through that kids veins must be astounding. Regarding him, with his contaminated gene pool, as a superior human in any way, is like making the tea cup poodle the archetype for “dog”. But still, dumbasses will send teddy bears and flowers to the mother congratulating her on something hundreds of thousands of women do everyday. Can we agree that is the creepiest thing ever? The mindset to go out and spend money on gifts for someone who doesn’t know and doesn't care that you exist is beyond crazy.
The new prince can have the inherited castles, undeserved fame and illegitimate reverence. I’ll take a life based on merit, no matter how shitty. The only way for me not to hate on this kid is if he does one of two things: one, if as a young adult he denounces his throne and makes clear to the people how silly the concept of royalty is. Or two, his life becomes essentially a scene for scene remake of the film “King Ralph”. He needs to be 300lbs, fall in love with a chubby exotic dancer, and then be betrayed by his butler. I want him wearing the crown in the bathtub, being disgusted by “spotted dick”, and impressing King Mubalon of Zambezi via a spear throwing contest. How the hell did “King Ralph” only get 20% on Rotten Tomatoes?! The dinner conversation about fox hunting alone is worth 75%, and when he hits the shit out of ball while playing cricket, pushing it fair, and then “trots the bases”, has to bump it up to at least 90.
There is a slight chance he’ll be an OK guy. My hope is that uncle Harry at least teaches him to live a life based around slaying chicks and not worrying about building notoriety. But my money's on him ending up a douchey, entitled prick. So, all I can do is hope that SIDS takes over early so Sir Elton can release his next platinum single, “Birthday Candle in the Wind”, you know, because those candles are smaller.
