Stop Your Declarations of Self Satisfaction
Wow, you “love life!” or your “life is great!”, and now you’re going to hit me with some arbitrary quote of inspiration? Fuck you, you’re a tool. All you are doing with your newsfeed pollution is interrupting my unending search for bikini pics of smoking hot ex girlfriend friends. Ya know, the ones I would've dated if I could of, but decided to take the road of least resistance. Chances are the people that actually do love their life also attained qualities like security and humility along the way. It’s like the millionaire tech genius that wears a t shirt and jeans because thats whats comfortable, when really he could strut a $5,000 custom made suit. It’s fine if you can trace the reason for your post of jubilation to a picture of your newborn nephew or you on vacation, but when you exclaim vague blurts it just makes me hate you. I must say though, nothing is more annoying than you sending out invitations to the social media pity party with “Sometimes I just can’t take it” or “Ugh, it’s just not fair”. You are a dildo and fishing for “comments”. However, there is a silver lining to the annoying complain post. What I enjoy doing is “Like”-ing a post that reads ”Ugh, I hate my life”. I like causing that subtle confusion if the “like” means I’m empathizing with her, or if I really do like the fact that she hates her life. It’s even better if we haven’t talked in years.
When you post inspiring words like “I’m living everyday like it’s my last and not letting the haters drag me down!” the only thing you are inspiring me to do is unfriend you, which I would 100% do if I wasn’t so desperate to keep my facebook friends at a respectable level. Let’s be honest, if everyone was only friends with people they truly liked, you would be in the ballpark of 75-100 friends. But, of course, this is unacceptable and you would just look like a creeper fake profile of some fat chick who is going to “catfish” some unsuspecting mope into thinking he found someone who loves him for who he really is. God, I love that shit. “I can’t believe the girl that I talked to for three years, yet who refused to Skype with me, isn’t the person she told me she was? I was sure that the fitness/swimsuit model loved me, even though everybody else I come into contact with is physically repulsed by me. I am completely shocked that she is actually a 400lb nineteen year old with early onset diabetes.” Pure entertainment. The best part of it all is when tubby still thinks she has a chance because she really did build a genuine emotional bond with the pathetic dude who can’t form in person relationships, but the dude is like, “Nope, not today big gurl, waddle your way back into the trailer.” Oh, humans.
Wow, you “love life!” or your “life is great!”, and now you’re going to hit me with some arbitrary quote of inspiration? Fuck you, you’re a tool. All you are doing with your newsfeed pollution is interrupting my unending search for bikini pics of smoking hot ex girlfriend friends. Ya know, the ones I would've dated if I could of, but decided to take the road of least resistance. Chances are the people that actually do love their life also attained qualities like security and humility along the way. It’s like the millionaire tech genius that wears a t shirt and jeans because thats whats comfortable, when really he could strut a $5,000 custom made suit. It’s fine if you can trace the reason for your post of jubilation to a picture of your newborn nephew or you on vacation, but when you exclaim vague blurts it just makes me hate you. I must say though, nothing is more annoying than you sending out invitations to the social media pity party with “Sometimes I just can’t take it” or “Ugh, it’s just not fair”. You are a dildo and fishing for “comments”. However, there is a silver lining to the annoying complain post. What I enjoy doing is “Like”-ing a post that reads ”Ugh, I hate my life”. I like causing that subtle confusion if the “like” means I’m empathizing with her, or if I really do like the fact that she hates her life. It’s even better if we haven’t talked in years.
When you post inspiring words like “I’m living everyday like it’s my last and not letting the haters drag me down!” the only thing you are inspiring me to do is unfriend you, which I would 100% do if I wasn’t so desperate to keep my facebook friends at a respectable level. Let’s be honest, if everyone was only friends with people they truly liked, you would be in the ballpark of 75-100 friends. But, of course, this is unacceptable and you would just look like a creeper fake profile of some fat chick who is going to “catfish” some unsuspecting mope into thinking he found someone who loves him for who he really is. God, I love that shit. “I can’t believe the girl that I talked to for three years, yet who refused to Skype with me, isn’t the person she told me she was? I was sure that the fitness/swimsuit model loved me, even though everybody else I come into contact with is physically repulsed by me. I am completely shocked that she is actually a 400lb nineteen year old with early onset diabetes.” Pure entertainment. The best part of it all is when tubby still thinks she has a chance because she really did build a genuine emotional bond with the pathetic dude who can’t form in person relationships, but the dude is like, “Nope, not today big gurl, waddle your way back into the trailer.” Oh, humans.